Oppressive Golf: When Unsolicited Advice Isn't Helpful

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 It starts out as a friendly tip but quickly evolves into an ego trip of “I know a lot about golf because I used to be a beginner too.” Or is it “I found this golf pro on You Tube that used to play on tour and he said to do this...”?

I’ve been the target of a ton of unsolicited golf advice. As the recipient, it can make one feel small, insignificant, and not good enough. It can turn a fun day of golf with a friend into lousy day on the links. I’d like to believe that it ends once you’ve achieved a certain level of proficiency, but that hasn’t stopped it yet. At least not for me. Even as an instructor, I still have students’ significant others trying to out-teach me when I am not around (but sometimes I am standing right there).

This is what I know about golf and golf instruction. Words matter. The quality and the delivery of the words matter more. Students can only handle one thought at a time regardless of how accomplished they are in golf or how bright they are in other areas. My words and drills may be simple, but they have a purpose and I am mindful of the bigger picture I am trying to paint for a student. My words cannot be heard if the student is not present with me. Some days the whole lesson is spent on the student’s emotions or the mind game. A lot of lessons are spent just releasing bad mojo, often derived from work, school or home. The only way people improve in golf (and life) is if they feel good and they believe in their process.



If you are a giver of free golf advice, understand that the person on the receiving end may be wishing that they didn’t pick the mat next to you. They may be silently working on something that you’ll never know about unless you are a mind-reader. And once you utter the crappy advice that you are giving, it will take hours of golf therapy to un-hear what you put in their head. That person that you think you are helping may have to ride home with you because you came in the same car.

Before offering unsolicited advice, ask yourself these questions:
  1. What do I do for a living?
  2. Do I value the relationship I have with this unwilling potential student?
  3. Would I listen to my own advice in this situation?
Think twice before giving advice...

Many Birdies,

Melissa

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