In Between Birdie and Bogey

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 I recently played in a US Women's Open Qualifier in North Carolina.  It is a one-day, 36-hole event that takes you directly to the US Women's Open if you finish in the top three. For me, there were a lot of wins this year even though I didn't shoot low enough to qualify. If you look at my scores, it may seem like my game is more than a bit off from qualifying, but I was just a couple mental mistakes away from playing well.

Our good friend, Tim Kremer, founder of Spirit of Golf and Peak Performance Mind Coaching, said to me, "Isn't that the truth? There is a fine line between being under par and over par." And I believe there certainly is.

Lately, a lot of things feel "in between" for me.  My golf game has improved so much over the last 8 years, that is feels like a whole new game, yet the scores don't always reflect. In between good and great. Our business is growing exponentially, yet we are still operating as a small business with big business aspirations. In between again. My personal teaching business is starting to reflect why I was placed on this planet, yet it doesn't always feel graceful. In between.

In between can kinda feel stuck if we let it. But there is movement there. If we get quiet and feel into it, there really is movement there. It might not be the whitewater rapids that the EGO is searching for but it is definitely not stagnant.


Last night, I picked up a book that I forgot I had in my mini-library. It is called The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chodron. At the end of the book, she addresses the "In Between State". I could definitely quote the entire last chapter, but I won't this time.

She says, 

        Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in between state. It's the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into the struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not hoping to know, not acting like we know what's happening, we begin to access our inner strength.

Total surrender to where we are now. And being okay with it. There is beauty here.

Our friend Tim has created "Thoughts of the Day"  that he sends out daily via email. Today, he reminded us that we have choice no matter where we are:

        Instead of waiting to see how well you have played to affect your state of mind, begin to ask yourself, "who do I want to bring with me to the course today that is slightly new and improved?" And then make it your sole intent to feel this new you before, during and after every shot. Notice if this doesn't have a profound impact on how you feel about yourself as well as performance and score. Bottom line, something's gotta give inside us before anything on the outside will change.

While I change my insides and wait for the outsides to change,  I'll be hanging in between if you need someone to hang with you. There really is a fine line between making a birdie and making a bogey. Par is a great score, even in the US Open.

Many Birdies,

Melissa

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